


What's Gone and What's Past Help Should Be Past Grief

by Sev1970 (mk_malfoy)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-09
Updated: 2006-02-09
Packaged: 2017-10-07 10:12:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mk_malfoy/pseuds/Sev1970
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione faces a fate she isn't willing to submit herself to. What will she do to stop it from happening? This contains dubious consent. I wasn't sure how to put this as a warning, because it is not against Hermione's will, but it is not exactly wanted, either. It is a quite intense fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Gone and What's Past Help Should Be Past Grief

**Title: **What's Gone and What's Past Help Should Be Past Grief  
**Author: **Sev1970  
**Date Written: **February 09-11, 2006  
**Pairing: **Severus Snape/Hermione Granger  
**Summary: **Hermione faces a fate she isn’t willing to submit herself to. What will she do to stop it from happening? This contains dubious consent. I wasn't sure how to put this as a warning, because it is not against Hermione's will, but it is not exactly wanted, either. It is a quite intense fic.  
**Warnings: **Dubious consent/could be interpreted as non-con  
**Rating: **R or M  
**Words: **3800  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Harry Potter Universe. J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Inc., and Warner Bros. are the ones who do, as well as any other entities involved.  
**A/N: **Thanks to Magdelena for her wonderful editing on this. This is my first Snape/Hermione, and we both kept thinking Harry should be here instead, but, I was determined to write a Snape/Hermione that seemed believable with the latest canon being used.  
**A/N II: **This is quite sad, I am warning you now!  
**A/N III:** About the title…usually they come to me rather quickly, but this one didn’t. I had written the fic and had titled it something else, but it really didn’t fit, so I started looking, and as I sometimes do, I began looking through Shakespeare quotes. I came upon the quote that is now the title of this fic, and thought…hm, this could work. So then I clicked on the corresponding link, and this is an excerpt from --The Winter's Tale (III, ii, 223-224 )*

  
_“Paulina, a loyal friend of Queen Hermione, has apologized for her condemnation of King Leontes, whose insane jealousy has brought great unhappiness and despair to his kingdom. Her outburst comes at the apparent death of Hermione, who had been standing trial for unfounded charges of treason and infidelity, and who has just learned of her ill son's death. Hermione faints, is carried away, and Paulina returns to announce that the innocent queen has died…”_

  
So, even though this fic is not as involved as all of that, it seemed as if this quote was calling out to me, so I used it! Okay, on with the fic!

**What's Gone and What's Past Help Should Be Past Grief**

~*~

Hermione couldn’t help the tears that fell as she hugged Harry and Ron at King's Cross. She wanted to believe she would see them again, and she was almost certain she would see Ron when next term began, but it was Harry who she wasn’t at all sure about.  She didn’t trust him to alert her and Ron if he decided to leave and go hunt for the Horcruxes.  She knew he was more than likely going to go off on his own, and that scared her more than she wanted to think about. She loved Harry, not in the same way she loved Ron, but she knew she would never get over the loss if anything were to happen to Harry.

Pulling back from Harry, she wiped her eyes and sniffled as she straightened his collar. “Promise me, Harry. Promise me that you will not go and do anything stupid, such as going after Snape,” Hermione paused as she saw the frown on Ron’s face, and another tear fell, “without letting us know first, so we can go with you.”  When Harry said nothing, Hermione shook her head and couldn’t help the frantic tone of her voice. “Promise me, now, Harry.” She watched as Harry shook his head and mouthed that he was sorry before he turned and walked away, glancing over his shoulder a couple of times.

“He’s going to get himself killed, Ron.” Hermione turned into the warm shoulder that she was leaning against and began sobbing once more. “Why? Why is this happening, Ron?”

Ron wrapped his arms around Hermione and hugged her to him. “I don’t know, Hermione.”

~*~

She'd been home over a month, and not once had Hermione heard from either Ron or Harry. She tried not worrying, but there was little else she could do. Her parents couldn’t understand what had their daughter so upset, and as much as she would have loved to confide in them, she wanted a chance to possibly return to Hogwarts, therefore she kept what was happening to herself.

They likely thought she and Ron were having young love issues, as Hermione’s mother had seen the two hugging, and had seen Hermione crying as she had reluctantly pulled herself away from him. Hermione did not try to dissuade her parents from their assumptions because it was far better than the reality of what was actually happening. If they knew the half of what was going on, they would most certainly take their daughter and flee to America or some far corner of the globe to safeguard her from the possible trouble.

Hermione was her parents’ pride and joy—their only child—who just so happened to be a witch. They had never thought her odd, nor had they ever tried to hide her from the rest of the world, as many Muggles tended to do when their children showed signs of possessing magical abilities. The only concession they made, and that was for Hermione’s safety, was to tell their friends that their daughter attended boarding school for gifted students in Scotland.

Hermione looked up as her mother entered the sitting room, and tried smiling.

“What is wrong, dear? You seem so sad, and your father and I don’t quite know what to make of it.”

Hermione did manage a slight smile. “Sorry, Mum, it’s just that I’m worried about my friend, Harry. He is having a rough time of it, and I’m afraid of what he might do.”

“Ah, yes, isn’t he the one who had to witness that schoolmate of yours being murdered a few years ago?”

Hermione hesitantly nodded. She hated talking about this, because not only was it painful to recall, but also because it was a reason why she could be kept away from Hogwarts. Technically, she was of age and could decide where she went to school now, but if her parents requested she not attend Hogwarts any longer, she knew she would comply.

“Your father and I worry about you so, Hermione, but we know you love the school and your friends. If you feel it is safe enough for you to attend, then we will of course continue to support you, but we do worry, so please tell us if there is anything we should know.”

Hermione forced a smile and nodded. “Don’t worry, Mum, I won’t keep anything from you or dad.”  It was far too easy to lie and Hermione hated herself for doing so, but it was a necessity.

~*~

It was now approaching the two-month mark of her holiday, two weeks before school was to begin, if it was going to begin, and Hermione still hadn't heard from Ron or Harry.

Now, it was time to worry.

Hermione sat on the bench in Kensington Gardens admiring the foliage, thinking it would be the perfect setting for a picture. This place always soothed her nerves for some reason. For some it might be the tourists or the fresh air, but for Hermione it was the history surrounding the area.

History had always fascinated Hermione, and her love of the royal family had been present from the time she was a toddler and had seen Prince Charles marry Lady Diana Spencer. She remembered sitting in her mother’s lap clapping when the royal couple had walked out on the balcony. Everyone had been dressed so beautifully. Hermione smiled as she remembered telling her mum a few years later after the birth of Prince William, that one day she wanted to be a princess and marry a prince. Her mother had smiled and said ‘Of course you will, love.’

Hermione’s smile widened as she thought of that statement she had made all those years ago. Ron was not exactly a prince, but the young woman saw herself marrying him and having his children, nonetheless. Ron had finally kissed Hermione as they left the Gryffindor Common room for what could have been their last time there. The kiss had been quite chaste, and lasted not even a second, however, it was a kiss, and was, for Hermione, a promise of things to come.

She stood up, now in a much better mood, and walked the few blocks to catch the coach that would take her home. Thinking of Ron always made Hermione’s face brighten. She was still worried, but knew that if anything bad had happened, someone would contact her.

She sat down when she got on the coach and watched the other passengers, mostly tourists from what she could tell. There were several small children with a group of adults. Hermione smiled at one of the little boys who had dropped his ball. It rolled to her so she picked it up and handed it to who she thought must be the little boy’s mother.

Sometime later, when the occupancy had lessened substantially, Hermione stifled a yawn as she stood up when she saw that her stop was approaching. She departed the almost empty coach and turned left to head home, but instead, someone met her and shoved a handkerchief in her face, not giving her any time to react. The last thought Hermione had was that she smelled something sweet.

~*~

Opening her eyes, Hermione felt sick. Her head was throbbing, and all she could see was a blinding white light. Reaching up with her hand, she felt her head, and as she had expected,it was covered in some sticky substance, probably blood.

There was a loud noise and Hermione turned her head. “Who’s there?”

“You silly little girl. Haven’t you learned anything over the past six years?” said someone whose biting voice so very familiar.  She froze.  “Professor Snape?" she said, her voice wavering.  She wasn’t quite sure how to react to the man who had killed Dumbledore, and she also had the distinct impression that her being in Snape's presence wasn't at all a good thing.“What are you doing here?”

“Aren’t you the least bit curious where you are, Miss Granger?”

Hermione still couldn't see much of anything, although she could make out a blurry image of a man wearing a big cloak. 

Her vision unclear, there was nothing wrong with her hearing: she could clearly hear the laughter in the man’s voice. “Where am I?”  Hermione refused to lose her patience … yet.

“Welcome to Spinner’s End, Miss Granger. I am your captor, Severus Snape," was her professor's rather flat and emotionless reply.

“Are you keeping me on Voldemort’s orders?” Her voice was beginning to shake more, and now she was scared. She knew Snape was a spy and that he was working for Dumbledore, but … what if he wasn't?  She instinctively recoiled as she heard Snape approach her.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Miss Granger, but no, I have not taken you because the Dark Lord ordered me to.  However, if I had been a minute later, then you would no doubt be in the unfortunate position of being prepared for your deflowering.”

Hermione couldn't help the tears that began to fall. “What are you going to do to me?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little face, you silly little girl. Your virtue is safe with me. My only aim is to keep you safe from Lucius Malfoy, which, unfortunately, will more than likely not work.  He knows I have you, and he is trying to find a way to get you.”

“Why can’t you send me back to my mum and dad? I will tell them we need to leave and we can go into hiding. They must be frightened. I don’t want to worry them," Hermione then said, tears running down her cheeks.  Hermione was terrified.  The thought of Lucius Malfoy trying to find her and … what had Snape meant about the deflowering?  Hermione wasn't naïve.  If Lucius Malfoy got hold of her …

"You should have thought about that before you went gallivanting around Chelsea and Notting Hill, Miss Granger. You will not leave this room until it is safe to do so.  I cannot allow my magical signature to be discovered.  Despite what you are probably thinking, Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy and myself never returned to the Dark Lord. We came here immediately. Unfortunately, Mister Malfoy thought he could escape his fate, and somehow found a way out of here. He hadn’t been gone five minutes when his father captured him. I truly feel ill thinking of what Draco is going through.  If you attempt to leave, Miss Granger, your fate will be that of Draco’s.”

“What will be done to Draco?"

“Nothing at present, Miss Granger, at least not until they get their hands on you. You see, it is not a secret that you are a virgin, and just so you know, so is Mister Malfoy. It seems the Dark Lord has gotten it in his head that his successor should be a child born of you and Draco. Don’t ask me why. It would not be my first choice, but we are dealing with a madman.”

Hermione, horror and revulsion at the thought of she and Draco being forced to … it was too horrible to even contemplate.  She opened her mouth, but nothing came out for a few seconds, but then she found the words.   “No, never. I would never do that. I would rather die than have a child who would one day replace Voldemort.”

“And do you honestly think The Dark Lord or Lucius Malfoy cares what you would or would not want to do?  I think Lucius would quite like it if you tried to resist, Miss Granger.  If you did so, he might decide that he and not his son, should be the father of the next Dark Lord.  Yes, Lucius always did like the little girls, and he loves to make them scream.  You are in grave danger, you silly, naïve girl, and I am not certain how much longer the wards will be able to keep them away. I can already feel the outer wards falling. I am quite unsure of just why you have been targeted, but you need to know that you have been and you also need to realise that the Dark Lord and Lucius Malfoy will not stop until they get what they want.”

Hermione instinctively raised her hands to her face.  It was as if Snape was going to allow this to happen.  Perhaps he was lying to her when he'd said he was trying to protect her.  Perhaps he was holding her for Lucius Malfoy.  “No, this can’t happen. There has to be something you can do to keep him away.” Hermione found herself pleading with the man.  "Please don’t let them take me, Professor.”

“I’ll do my best, Miss Granger.”

 

Snape then left and closed the door, leaving Hermione alone. _No, please no_. She didn’t know what to think or do, not that there was much she could do, but she tried to think of something. 

She fell asleep.

~*~

Hermione woke up when she felt herself being shaken.  She opened her eyes, but couldn't see any clearer than she had previously.  “What is wrong?” Hermione backed up as far away from Snape as she could. The look in his eyes was evil, far scarier than his usual scowls or glares that she had been witness to for six years in class.

“I’m sorry, Miss Granger. I tried keeping them out, I truly did. I feel them coming.”

Hermione gasped and shook her head, not believing Snape, even though his former evil sneer had morphed into something of a grimace, and he was shaking his head, as if in resignation. “NOOOOO!”

Hermione wasn’t sure what to do, and she didn' know if she could fully trust Snape, but the idea of what Lucius Malfoy might do to her sent Hermione’s thoughts reeling, and she imagined herself being raped and killed. There was only one thing she could think of that might make this situation not as dire, although, to Hermione, it was still a fate almost worse than death.  Nevertheless, she steeled her resolve. She was not going to allow Lucius Malfoy, Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, or anyone else to break her and make her into something she would hate herself for.

_You can do this, Hermione._

“Professor, please make me not be a virgin.” For all that she was trying to prevent this from happening, she was already broken, and was pleading for her life at this point.

She wanted her first time to be with Ron.  Current circumstances being what they were, however, she couldn't sit here and allow herself to be the bearer of the next Dark Lord. That thought was too grisly to imagine. “Please?” Hermione cried.

“I cannot take your virginity, Miss Granger, please do not ask me to do this.”

“What if I beg you then? Please, Professor. I am asking you to please help me. I want you to do this. I am not scared of you. I am scared of Lucius Malfoy and Voldemort, though. Please … please … please.” Hermione very uncharacteristically broke down and was beyond words.

She lifted her head and opened her eyes minutes later when she felt hands wiping her tears away. “Please?”  Nothing was said for several minutes and the only sound that could be heard was the sobbing that Hermione was unable to control.

“Very well. It shall be done,” was Snape's reply, and it sounded weak and filled with grief.  It was not at all how Snape usually sounded when he spoke.  “We should do this now before the wards are broken and before I lose my resolve.  I must apologize for being unable to take this slowly, but we don’t have much time.”

Hermione gulped, but nodded. “I understand.” She might have understood, but her hands couldn’t stop from shaking uncontrollably.

“Is it alright if I remove all of your clothing? It will be easier if you can feel something and respond to me.”

Hermione’s large brown eyes stared straight ahead at the blur that was her professor.  It was probably best that she couldn't see him.  Unable to speak= speak, she nodded her head.

_I can do this_. She closed her eyes. “Just get it over with, please.”

Hermione then felt the air meet her body and knew she was naked, then seconds later, she felt the naked body of her professor leaning over her. Her breathing increased and she began to sob harder.

“I don’t want to do this to you, Miss Granger.”

Hermione shook her head trying to quell the tears. “Please. Please just do it.”

Next thing she felt was something dribbling down her entrance. She was not experienced at all, but she knew this was likely a lubricant used to help with intercourse. She stiffened, but tried relaxing as much as she could. She then felt as something rather large was rubbing against her stomach, and knew what it was without looking.

“Are you ready?”

Hermione shook her head.  She would never be ready for this.  "Please just do it."

She bit her lip as she was entered. The pain took her breath away, and she instinctively pulled away, but was stilled by strong arms.

“Shhh. It’s going to be okay, Miss Granger. I won’t hurt you.”

Once more, the tears flowed down Hermione's face. She felt as her professor pulled out and pushed back in. The pain was just as intense, but there was a new sensation building, a more pleasant one. She was still struggling even though she knew this had to happen, but as the seconds went by, she felt herself responding somewhat. She had never felt such a feeling before and it was almost too much for her to handle. She felt as if she might pass out.

“Let it happen, Miss Granger.  Let go.”

Then everything went black.

Hermione woke up sometime later, and found herself under the covers of a bed. She tried sitting up, but grimaced in pain.

“You might want to remain still for a few hours more Your body is recovering. I tried my best not to hurt you, but I fear I did do some minor damage to your body.”

“I knew what I was asking you to do, Professor.” Hermione’s voice was weak, and she felt near tears again, but she would not cry over this anymore, not now, anyway.  What had been done had been done to protect her.  She would repeat that to herself.  “Thank you, Professor.”

Not many minutes later, Lucius broke through the wards, and he reached out to grab the young witch, but she watched as his face fell when Severus Snape walked in and climbed into the bed beside her.

“So sorry, Lucius. Looks like you’ll have to find another witch to breed with your son. This witch is taken.”

Hermione watched as a completely shocked Lucius Malfoy threatened that he would be back to get Snape later, and then as he walked out the door. She turned towards Snape and allowed herself a slight smile. “Thank you.”

~*~

By the time night fell, Hermione was back in her bed, trying to forget what she had experienced. Her parents had been gone for most of the day, so to them it was as if nothing had happened to change their daughter’s life. Her mother had knocked on her door when they'd arrived home, and mother and daughter had sat and talked for probably ten minutes before Hermione’s father came to her door and wished her a good night. Soon after, her mother did the same and kissed her daughter on the forehead before leaving the room.

After she was sure her mother was gone, she turned out her bedside lamp, curled up with the other pillow that was never used, and cried. She had asked for this, hadn’t she? Professor Snape had not taken advantage of her, and would not have touched her if he had not been begged to do so. She had pleaded with him to have sex with her so she would no longer be a virgin, because she could not stand the thought of being forced to have sex with anyone against her will, be it Draco, Lucius Malfoy, Voldemort, Professor Snape, or whomever. Hermione also hadn’t relished the thought of perhaps siring the future Dark Lord.

_I wonder what Professor Snape is thinking about now?_

Hermione thought back to what had happened after Lucius Malfoy left.

 

&lt;i&gt;Snape waited until Lucius had been gone for a few minutes, then exited the bed and checked on Hermione, making sure she was not running a fever, then he gave her a draught, telling her it would help ease the pain. She took it gratefully and within a few seconds, she felt much better.  She fell asleep

When she awoke, Snape told her she was free to leave. She initially hesitated, worried that Lucius Malfoy would come get Snape after she left as he had threatened to do, but Snape told her that it should be of no concern to her what happened to him.  She left, not caring that she could be snatched up possibly. It didn’t matter anymore. &lt;/i&gt;

Hermione knew she needed to tell her mother what had happened. She didn’t want to, but if she didn’t, she would slowly fade away into nothingness. She already didn’t care about anything. What had mattered twelve hours earlier, mattered little now. All Hermione wanted to do was to go to sleep and never wake.

Eventually she cried herself to sleep.

The End


End file.
